The snow globe or The antihero’s final battle

“ I wish I could keep walking endlessly. Never really stop unless for moments that relentlessly request to be lived intensely with zero room to negotiate”, she thought to herself. Her steps were firm, quick and fast with a clear direction. She walked back home through a wide park area in her neighborhood after teaching a small group yoga class.

That evening they had discussed the concept of non-judgment in a broader sense. That likely an individual’s perspective can never be truly objective irrespective of the facts. That one’s view or perception will always be molded by the lifelong collected experiences, thoughts, feelings and consequently formed assumptions and beliefs that one takes as a given. The ones that are considered the truth. They had talked about how the simple act of challenging these individual verities may open up the minds and the hearts for bigger pictures. Eventually allowing more than one truth to exist and therefore possibly letting go of judgments. To some degree at least given the human nature.

The sky was full of dark blue and grey clouds, the air was high in humidity and she could sense that rain was about to fall soon. It appeared like the sky could read her mind that day and also mirrored the tense feeling in her chest. A storm was on its way they had said on the news earlier.

She stopped at her favorite spot nearby the water and closed her eyes. Whenever she closed her eyes she was still walking these endless miles along the coast on the island she had spent the most transforming weeks of her life. “Becoming part of the ocean, no longer knowing or caring where its embrace stops and my own body begins. Feeling a previously unknown freedom. Feeling truly alive.” she thought with a deep sense of longing.

Her phone rang and pulled her out of the brief journey she had been on in her mind. She decided to not answer the call. Instead she turned around and took a look at the clouds when she noticed that the sun was taking a last attempt to win the fight and make it through the dark rain clouds before it was about to set for the day which gave a bizarre but immensely beautiful light. “Funny how I always seem to find these moments of encountering imperfection that touch my heart. Or are they in fact finding me?” she wondered. After taking a few pictures to capture the moment she hurried up to ensure she’d be home before the bad weather would unfold.

Once arrived she took a quick shower and decided it was the perfect moment for a glass of wine and a book she had bought recently. The book was about a boy who at some point of his life chose to never grow up, to never love, to never live. And consequently spent his whole existence walking the thin lines between the awaken and the asleep in his world. It was intriguing and captivating at points but also made her sad sometimes.

She got off the couch and looked outside through her large floor-to-ceiling windows. She noticed her own reflection in it. Standing still, holding her wine glass. “Was it possible that there’s more than one truth to this story? Am I even able to accept the possibility that things aren’t as black and white as my mind and my heart make them out to be? Is there a chance that I can find closure if I allow more than one version of the truth to co-exist peacefully?”, she wondered.

She realized that her inner battles hadn’t changed throughout her life. Her sharp mind was always eager and particularly restless. Never able to stop until it had pinned down the root cause of an issue, identified the logical explanation, stripped an issue down to its bottom layer, dissected human behavior with precision so for her it was no longer unpredictable in nature. Her heart on the other hand would never stop dreaming about true love. It would never stop fighting with utmost passion for what it felt was right. It would never accept defeat. It would never let go of a real chance of happiness regardless how slim it might be. And it would never bow down and surrender to unfortunate circumstances. “It would just always find a way . Being the true, brave and beautifully naive anti-hero it is.” she summarized to herself.

The sound of her phone ringing once again interrupted her in her thoughts but she still didn’t intend to answer the call. Her mind knew exactly what it was about but she wasn’t ready to face it just yet. Meanwhile the expected storm had picked up in strength and she saw flower pots moving, bicycles being knocked over and neighbors chasing after outdoor furniture that had been standing outside their homes.It reminded her of a similar night some time ago. A night her razor sharp mind was trying to erase to the best of its abilities.

Without a warning the living room went dark and she soon realized there was an electricity outage in the entire house. She lit a candle and walked upstairs all the way to the top floor where she had her recreational area which she frequently used for private yoga lessons. Or she came up there when she needed a place to retreat and find inspiration for her writing. The room looked different just lightened by a single candle and from high up the vivid scenery of the stormy weather outside the houses resembled a snow globe with a miniature version of herself and her everyday normalcy captured inside.

It was complete silence in the room on the top floor. But when she looked into the snow globe she heard a familiar melody “…I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see. And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be…”, while she could clearly observe the antihero emerging from the ground yet another time, aware it would possibly fight its final battle before being cut open by the sharp blades of who was considered the hero by many. Being left to bleed abundantly.

While she drank the last sip of her wine she closed the curtains, looked at her phone and pressed the dreaded call back button.