“Sometimes you hear more when it’s quiet than when there are actual sounds. Sometimes the silence has a much more meaningful story to tell than the best writer. And sometimes the dust needs to settle first before we can see again.” she thought to herself while resting on a bench in the beautiful park in a town not far away from the city she used to live in.
She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the leaves in the wind. It was one of her favorite things to do when spending time outside in nature. Only focusing on one sense at a time. Hearing, smelling, seeing, feeling. They all had their individual fascinating power. And she felt that only if you experience and appreciate them independently in their essence, would you be able to fully grasp and appreciate them combined in their unique beauty.
Her biggest adventure was getting closer each day and she still had many items on her list that needed to be tackled before she could leave. These past few days her emotions resembled a rollercoaster ride. Exceptional excitement, nervousness, disbelief, curiosity, anxiety, happiness and back to utter excitement again.
One of the things she still wanted to do before she left was to visit an old friend. A once close friend she had lost contact with many years ago after they had stretched the limits of traditional friendship into less platonic terrain for a short time.
They both hadn’t been ready for more back then, but the bond of friendship didn’t survive the experiment either. She had often regretted not fighting harder for their friendship, but life had different plans and she didn’t step out of line in this case.
His apartment wasn’t far from the park so she could easily walk the distance, but something was holding her back to get up. “What if he doesn’t want to see me? He slams the door in my face? Or he won’t even open?”, she thought anxiously. Unannounced visits were a risk after all, no matter the type of relationship you have with someone.
After a longer conversation with her own fears and doubts she had finally arrived at the apartment building block. It’s been a while, but she still remembered where his block’s entrance was. The name sign was empty for his apartment number, but she rang the bell regardless and waited while feeling nervous yet excited. Nobody answered so she tried her luck another time. Still no answer.
“He’s probably not at home”, she thought with a clear sense of relief, and she turned around ready to walk away. Then she heard the door opening behind her and she stopped walking. She heard a dog barking and when she turned around, she saw an older lady coming out of the building following her four-legged companion.
For a second she considered to make use of the unexpected opportunity to enter the building through the house door and potentially try the doorbell upstairs but something inside her kept her from following this route.
Instead, she started walking with her head full of thoughts and disturbingly mixed feelings.
She must have been completely lost in her thoughts as eventually she realized she hadn’t arrived at the train station but had instead walked back to the bench in the park she had been sitting on before. The bench was still empty so she decided to take another rest, accepting that destiny might have brought her there. When she looked to her right, she noticed the older lady with her dog sitting on the neighbouring bench. The older woman had her reading glasses on and seemed focused on the newspaper in her hands.
Taking a closer look, she realized that the newspaper was actually from sometime in 2007, so approximately 15 years ago.
“How strange!” she thought. “This lady seems so intrigued and interested in what she’s reading. I wonder what’s her story!” As she couldn’t hide her curiosity and surprise, eventually the woman looked up with a friendly smile and asked “What is it, dear? Can I help you with something?”
She swallowed for a second and responded, “I am just wondering why you’re reading a newspaper from 2007 with such interest!” “Well dear, first let me start with that I believe time is an illusion anyway, you’ll see! But there’s more to this of course. My dear husband Joost passed away that day. It’s been completely unexpected, which made it even more painful. And I still remember we had been drinking our morning coffee on the bench outside our house in the beautiful warm spring sun that day. Sharing the newspaper as we always did.”
“Oooh I am so sorry for your loss; I really don’t know what to say.” she stuttered. “That’s fine, dear. I am long passed the grief stage. All that matters is to live my life to its fullest, celebrating every day. Embracing every moment as the gift it is. And reading this paper once per week here on our bench helps me to remember this. How valuable and precious, yet fragile life is.” the lady responded with a smile and put the paper down. “It’s time for me to go back home, I’ve got plenty of things to do and I don’t want to miss out on any moment. Remember, dear, you can cherish memories as long as they don’t prevent you from living your life the way it was meant for you. ” the woman said and got up from her bench.
As she watched the older lady walk away with her dog she felt strangely at peace. For some reason the words of the woman had touched her deeply and reminded her that living in the here and now and appreciating every moment with the appropriate awareness really were the only things that matter. And the only thing she could influence after all.
While she walked towards the train station, her mind went on a journey to more moments in her past where she’d always felt there were some unresolved topics or feelings left. Close to reaching the station she had to cross one of the beautiful canals in the small town and she stopped there for a few minutes to reflect on the day and all that had happened.
She watched the smooth very light waves in the water and was fascinated by the reflections of the surrounding plants, houses and trees she could see and started dreaming away. And just when she was about to continue walking, she looked to her right and recognized a surprising ghost from the past, observing the water with similar passion. “I never thought I’d see you again, Mister!” she said while passing him with a gentle smile and a wink.
Wonderfully written! And truely powerful message 🙂 loved the whole setting and feel to it. And an experience I think all of us can relate to from a certain stage in our lifes onwards.